An actual conversation between me and my parents. I’m honestly not sure if this is going to make me want to talk to them more in the future or less.
Mom: have u used your webcam? we also have one but haven’t tried it yet
me: Not yet.
I feel that it’s a bit too early in my career to start uploading compromising videos to the internet.
Mom: no no no compromising videos, just your face when we are talking. or else we’ll upload those baby pix!!
me: Which ones?
There are lots more of Noam and Tali. I’m the 3rd child, remember?
Mom: how about the bathtub shots?
me: You don’t have those of me.
Mom: want to bet?
Dad: mommy is busy fruitlessly trying to find compromising pix of u
me: I know.
Dad: …now Mommy is more determined than ever
don’t b surprised if a Noam picture is claimed to actually b u
me: I won’t.
I think I can tell the difference. Not sure.
Dad: uh oh, u should never challenge your mother, she found some
me: No way!
In an album?
Dad: how about dressed up as a classic nerd 4 Purim
me: Not good enough. She said “naked.”
Dad: Or being hugged and kissed by Judy E. at camp when you were a wee one
me: Or “bathtub” at least.
Dad: How about topless in the back yard?
me: Still not doing it for me…
Dad: The Purim nerd is pretty bad
Dad: But the mother is still on a quest, still looking for naked
Dad: Busted, found the bathtub
with a girl
me: No way!
Since she’s bigger than u in the pic, it has to be you
me: Is this a naked picture of Tali, where I just happen to be there and naked?
Dad: Just found 11 more
many at the beach in public
me: I am “b’shok.”
That’s Israeli for “in shock.”
Dad: U and Tali are sharing a bathtub
There are also solo shots of u
Dad: can we stop — your mother doesn’t give up and I’m hungry. This could go on all night now. I’m gonna waste away to nothingness, dying of starvation
all because you challenged your mother
u should know by now you can do that
especially if u think you’ll ever win
me: I’m stubborn. You should know that by now.
Dad: BTW, it’s a good humbling lesson for marriage as well
just something to keep in mind
me: …and we’re back to this.
Dad: how about the three of u naked in an outdoor shower
me: Ok, now you’re just making stuff up. [Editor’s note: otherwise, I should go back in time and turn them into Child Services]
Dad: U want compromising, we got plenty, now go out and find a girl so we can thoroughly embarrass u
me: …I’ll work on it. -sigh-
Dad: have a great night. I’m going to eat the woodwork (or other inedible stuff not nailed down, while your mother searches the archives.
Seriously, have a great night. Talk to u tomorrow.
I am speechless. For me, that’s a big deal.