An actual email I just got:
from Ski Safe <firstname.lastname@example.org>
to Trevor Rans <email@example.com>
date May 24, 2007 6:15 PM
subject Thank you for using SkiSafeWeb (2819240821)
Thank you for your interest in insuring your craft with Ski-Safe. We have assigned a password so that you can access your records later, either for this quote (if we have been able to provide it), or for another one that you might want. If your quote required approval, it will be accessible after we have reviewed it.
Your password is [removed] and you can change it any time.
We also have representatives standing by to help you and are happy to take your
call at 1-800-225-6560.
My actual response:
from Ilan <firstname.lastname@example.org>
to Ski Safe <email@example.com>
date May 25, 2007 12:10 AM PM
subject Re:Thank you for using SkiSafeWeb (2819240821)
Dear SkiSafe and SkiSafe affiliates/loved ones,
I do not recall expressing an interest in insuring a craft with you, nor is my name Trevor. However, as I do not, to my knowledge, own a craft of any sort currently, I would be very interested to see the craft you speak of. I would even go by the name Trevor if you would prefer. What sort of craft is it? Does it have skis, as the name of your company would imply? If so, how does it navigate on non-slippery terrain (e.g. the road outside my friend Bobby’s house, where there are several large, intimidating potholes)? Or perhaps it is a craft of an as-yet unspecified type. If so, can I choose? I believe I would choose a hovercraft (that, or a jetpack, but I hear that jetpacks tend to chafe). Yes, I think a hovercraft would be a fine choice. (They had one in that film, Back to the Future – I highly recommend it. It stars Michael J. Fox and an older fellow, whose name I cannot recall. He’s the one with white poofy hair like Einstein.)
In sum, please let me know where and when I can pick up my hovercraft and how much the insurance you are offering will cost.
I will keep you updated with whether they write me back.
Update: They responded. Proof that some organizations have a sense of humor:
from Onlinequote <firstname.lastname@example.org>
to Ilan <email@example.com>
date May 25, 2007 12:31 AM
subject RE: Thank you for using SkiSafeWeb (2819240821)
Thank you for injecting some levity into what might have been an arduous day.
Had you requested a more ordinary yacht or jet ski we might have been able to accommodate you, but alas, none of our programs cover hovercrafts (or submarines) so we must regretfully decline.
However, I appreciate your lending credence to the statement of Galileo Galilei who said:
“I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.”
Have a great weekend!