Archive for the 'Band Names' Category



A few weeks ago, I was in New Haven to take a flight to Philadelphia. Mind you, I didn’t want to be in either New Haven or Philadelphia, but airports tend to be the kind of place you are with no clue why you’re there and a strong desire to leave – like the dentist’s office, or Germany. You don’t like the place you’re going any more than the place you’re leaving, but you’re at the airport, so what the heck. You fly.
This was, without a doubt, the smallest airport I have ever been in. Unfortunately, it wasn’t comically small, or this would be a more entertaining blog post. In any case, in the airport was this sign:

(I know it would seem that I was drunk or not wearing my glasses, but neither is true.) In case you can’t read it, it says “ATTENTION ALL PASSENGERS: TWEED NEEDS YOUR SUPPORT!” Needless to say, this was a bit perplexing. Why would tweed need my support? It seems to be a well-supported fabric, what with the abundance of elderly and/or stuffy British men. And why not promote support of some of the more flamboyant fabrics? Where is the taffeta lobby? The chiffon promoters? (Yes, those are both great band names.) Furthermore, how does one support tweed? Is there a Tweed Workers’ Union or a Tweed Foundation?
This truly is one of man’s great mysteries.

(It turns out that the airport is named Tweed, and apparently needs handouts. But I still think that Tweed Foundation idea has merit.)

Fun With Pouches

Do you know what happens when you try to cross a duck-billed platypus and a kangaroo?

(Pause for effect.)

Nothing but a couple of infuriated marsupials and severe internal bleeding.
I would recommend just gluing a duckbill onto the kangaroo and calling it a day. I hope this teaches as all an important lesson: namely, that “The Infuriated Marsupials” would make an awesome band name. Probably a heavy metal klezmer band, or something.

(Oh, and yes, the band-name line was a shameless Dave Barry reference. Whatcha gonna do about it?)