Somewhat Super

In response to a letter I had sent him, a friend of mine emailed me the following:

How’s the weather out there? What exactly are you learning during this ‘training’ period? Are you learning how to build a nuclear bomb from silicone? Really?

Now, this was an odd series of questions, to say the least. I responded in kind:

Ok, you got me. We’re building bombs. Not out of silicone – which is used as a sealant, for firestops (whatever those are), and certain types of -ahem- implants. I think you were referring to silicon – without the ‘e’, which is used in making computer chips. But we don’t use those to make bombs either.

In any case, the training is going just fine, except for the interesting effects of prolonged radiation exposure. I now lack eyebrows, but have developed some interesting powers. I can
now detect mimes at a distance of 100 kilometers and I read people’s minds, but only in haiku form. It’s a interesting talent, that last one. Often when I try to use it on women, I get something like the following:

Creepy guy staring
Really have to go get a
Restraining order.

And sometimes, it’s hard to understand what they’re saying, so I get things like this:

My thoughts don’t always
Make sense or flow together.
Cauliflower duck.

There are some questions better left unasked.

4 Responses to “Somewhat Super”

  1. elster2004 says:

    Just found your comment on Storytellers about The Below. Figured responding there would be a waste of time since you possibly wrote that comment weeks ago.

    Thanks for the praise. I have begun a story based on it – I have many many grand ideas and thoughts on turning stereotypes about g-dlike beings on their ear. But its very hard going.

  2. Kim says:

    I’m psyched to see you eyebrowless!

  3. Lauren says:

    I have a friend who loves ducks. I shall have to propose to her the idea of a cauliflower duck. I’ll let you know the results.

  4. ilan says:

    Lauren, I am constantly impressed with your persistent ability to intentionally miss the point. I salute you.

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