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In the spirit of the New Year, I’ve decided to do some things I ought to have done a while ago, like my homework, studying, learning, showering, and staring at trees until they back down. You know, the usual.

I figured I’d show you some less well-known emoticons:

¿(‘o’)¿ = A person who’s sad, ’cause her earrings are larger than her head.

<(‘-‘)> = A person doing pushups, to work off steam, ’cause his girlfriend just dumped him, and it really wasn’t fair, since he didn’t forget her birthday, but for personal reasons, he doesn’t recognize the birthdays of people with an “x” in their names, and she should respect that, but noooooo, she has to walk out yelling something about not using her cat for batting practice and storing his toenails in the glove compartment. Women. Ah, well, more pushups.

(%5$)\/ = a doggy. (Squint a little, and you’ll see it. Maybe have a stiff drink first, THEN you’ll see it.)

And I’m spent.

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