All Beginnings Are Hard

Ok, so I think I’m supposed to start this way:

Hi! My name’s Ilan, and I started this blog to show you just how truly awesome I am. In fact I am so awesome, I sometimes forget to breathe from the sheer exilhirating joy of being just so cool. Wow, I’m great. So now you can read about my life, which is, of course better than yours. After all, I am better looking than you – yeah, I know about that unsightly mole. You should really get that removed. Also, I have SO much more money than you – I own three cars, a yacht, and Paraguay. Also, I am WAY smarter than you – you can even see the “smart waves” (that’s a laymen’s term for you simpletons) coming out of my head. They look like this: ~~~. Did I mention that the laws of physics don’t always apply to me? Yeah, I’m that great. So, basically, in addition to being an all-around amazingly wonderful and swell guy, I am also generous. Therefore, I have chosen to share some miniscule iotas of my vast knowledge and wisdom with lesser mortals like yourself. But first, take care of that mole. Really.

2 Responses to “All Beginnings Are Hard”

  1. Ari Levine says:

    Ha! Glad you finally decided to blog, Ilan.

  2. bits of ink » Blog Archive » Carl, Nancy, and a Belligerent Dairy Product says:

    […] day over the past month, despite having not a single update in that whole time. I must just be that cool. So I had this quasi promise-thing to fulfill, and I blew it. My “Over the next week or […]

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